Whenever I start a project, its always easier for me to decide what I am NOT going to do (i.e. what I dislike). Like when I decided to finally decorate our home like a grown up, all I knew when I started was that I hate beige walls, and went from there. When I shop for clothes I just try to avoid the styles that look terrible on me and hope that whatever is left makes me look skinny.
It’s not the best way to go about home decor or fashion, or anything really, but its the way my cynical brain works.
So when I decided to pull the trigger on this blog idea (based on lots of encouragement from people who are forced to encourage me because they are related or married to me), I had a strong sense of what it would not be, but not a very clear idea of what it should or would be.
I know I won't dispense judgmental parenting advice. No one should listen to my opinion. I don’t read parenting books and my gut reaction when anyone tells me what to do is to refuse (because you aren’t the boss of me!). My excuse is that I “listen to my gut,” but in reality all that information just makes me anxious and exhausted so I tune it out.
I also don’t want this blog to be about how hard it is to be a mom. Don’t get me wrong, being a parent is terrible sometimes. Its exhausting and thankless and it goes on for many many years. But if you aren’t a parent, you don't care, and anyone who is a parent knows all too well. I will absolutely be talking about aspects of parenting that are hard, but the general difficulty level of adulting with kids is a well known fact. (Especially to your own mother. Call her.)
And this is DEFINITELY not a lifestyle blog. Some days I feel like I pretty much have my shit together, but in general I don’t know the first thing about fashion, makeup, hair, decorating, DIYing anything or making instagram-worthy lunch boxes for my kids. Sometimes my house smells like garbage and I can’t figure out why.
So what will this blog be about? I hope it will be a place for me to talk about things that I find interesting, or absurd, or beautiful or surprising. This is my intellectual escape. This is me getting out of my own head before I lose myself in Daniel Tiger reruns and blow out diapers and time outs at Target.
It makes me feel just a little bit better for spending a bunch of my parents' hard earned money for a journalism degree and ending up as a stay-at-home mom (which is important work, but didn't require me to attend an out-of-state university and live off campus for three years).
This is about navigating how to nourish another human being, and raise them into a well-adjusted adult, while also dealing with your own demons. For me, those demons are anxiety and depression and sometimes being an asshole, but everyone has their own struggles. For some, those issues come to light because of the life-changing (and lets face it traumatizing) shit you go through in order to become a mother. We are all trying to make the best of these precious years, but can we please acknowledge that its impossible to really savor the moment when you have poop on your hand?
So welcome to my blog. I hope you get something out of it, even if its just a laugh. I hope it sparks a conversation with people you know in real life. And because this whole endeavor feels a bit like going outside in my underwear, I ask that we all practice what we preach to our children, and be kind.
(P.S. if you don’t teach your children to be kind then maybe don’t read this blog because you are probably a serial killer.)